Paranoia kills

It was last Thursday (day before the 1st day of Senate hearing) afternoon when i overheard from the radio news that there was this witness on the ZTE scandal named Lozada who sought refuge from the La Salle brothers, gearing to tell the truth. Frankly, the first thought that struck me was, why do "these people" [people involved in government anomalies] like going to seminaries, brother dormitories, and the like, just about the time when they are in danger of being discovered? In this day and age in Philippine government and politics, would anyone who intend to be truthful really need the sisters and brothers to be able to tell the truth? I ask this because there are for sure credible people who never ever needed religious people to surround them when they wanted to speak the truth. So I thought only a person who does not expect to be believed [for whatever reason] would solicit the company of religious-looking people in order to actually secure a chance to be listened to.

Anyway, as I agonized hearing the Lozada testimony, I thought maybe he needed his religious friends to remind him to stay close to the light? This seemed more acceptable, at least, for some time. On the 2nd day, however, when those whom he implicated started to speak, I witnessed how Mr. Lozada played with the camera. Without judging which one said the most or the least lies, it was obvious that Lozada prepared well had a well-rehearsed facial reaction to the others' versions of the "truth". I swear, about 2 hours into the hearing, I could already predict the "look" he was going to show next. There were the innocently surprised, shocked and disbelief, exasperated and solicitating pity looks. Indeed it was a show! A disgusting one at that. A few more hours and it started to make sense. Mr. Lozada knew all along he was going to be in big trouble because he did something very wrong. He also knew he could not hide for long. It was just a matter of time. Someone badly needed his head. Before it occurred to him that he could get free lodging at La Salle, he did not know whom to go to; whom to trust. Paranoia, I hear, distorts one's sense of reality. It is possible he mistook "allies" for enemies. Or did he even have an ally in the first place? His denial that he ever sought protection from anyone sticks like a sore thumb. And personal bodyguards? Poor Mr.Lozada, I doubt that he is now off paranoia. But I never really developed a heart for whistleblowers. I don't think I will ever do. Whatever they say, one thing remains glaring for me. They would not have told the truth if their a**es were not on the line. That for me never makes them any different from the ones they tell on.

Oh well, if it is any consolation [to Mr.Lozada], let me just say I appreciate his "view" on what the basic flaw is in our government procurement system. Other than what everyone already knew about overpricing, Mr. Lozada pointed out that gov't procurement is supply-driven than need-driven. He explained that rather than having a genuine need determine what government will spend for, it is the supply available that dictates. Since the supply is controlled by an "elite" who have access to those in power, what happens is that the government adjusts its spending based on what is being offered by suppliers backed by political sponsors. In the end, the government spends to feed the business of a select group, enriching the latter in the process for goods and products that the government never really needed.




- Marichelle B. Recio