Long-distance Relationships: Now and Then

Back in the days, long-distance relationships thrive even with the absence of modern technology – no texts, e-mails, chat, facebook, skype. Men back then would painstakingly write their love letters using quilts and scented papers, fold them with care and insert them lovingly in envelopes. They would mail the letters in the post office or would ask their trusted friends to deliver them personally. Women in turn would patiently wait for the letters (think olden times – women in their baro’t saya sitting by the window while doing their embroidery). The process of sending and receiving letters is a long one and may take days, weeks, or even months depending on the circumstances. It requires effort on the part of both parties and maybe it is because of such devotion that relationships back then seemed to be more serious and committed. Incidents of cheating or infidelity may have been lower before than today as it seems that it would be too much of a hassle for a man to write and send various love letters to different girls, given the circumstances.

Today however is different. Modern technology makes it easy for people to play and fool around and flirt a lot because to do such requires so less an effort. Relationships are formed just by texting or chatting. Courtship is made easier by facebook, multiply, yahoo, friendster, and other social networks. For some, just seeing their crush ‘like’ their facebook status or profile picture can actually make their heart skip. Long-distance relationships seem not so long-distance anymore as couples can be updated 24/7 – thanks to cellphone roaming, skype, chikkatext, magic jacks, etc. They can actually know what one is having for breakfast or lunch and some couples actual cook and eat dinner together via webcam.

How modern technology affects relationships has its pros and cons. Although technology makes it so easy for people to be polygamous and polyandrous, on the other side of the coin, it helps couples to get to know each other better. By being updated on each other’s lives, being familiar with each other’s social circles, knowing how each other relates to other people, they are able to learn important things about one another --
enabling them to be more flexible and to work towards building satisfying relationships together.

And in the end, maybe it’s just finding the right person, whether one lives today or fifty years ago, long-distance relationship or not. As long as the partners are committed to each other, relationship will work, with or without cellphones and the internet and regardless whether they send each other e-mails or old-fashioned love letters.