By the power of eBay-skull…

There was a time when awesome things were only allocated a finite amount of time to occupy the general consciousness, and after that finite time, they’d be largely forgotten, replaced by other awesome things. They will, invariably, maintain a few true believers as dedicated followers, whose number is directly proportionate to the awesomeness of the awesome thing, but these fanboys are the exception to the rule. Take He-Man, for example. Time was, we only had a few months, or a couple years at most, to hope to collect the Masters of the Universe (and pray for that as a job description when we grew up). After that, He-Man would be replaced by something else, like Ninja Turtles, and the dream would be over. No more He-Man. But today, this previously finite “awesome time” no longer has to be so limited. Because of countless online merchants peddling awesome wares from our childhood in their unopened, mint boxes, the dream can live on. Now, grownups the world over can order a twenty-five year-old plastic figure of a stupendously muscle-bound, minstrel-haired man in furry briefs to fill the void left by an unfulfilled childhood. Yikes.