Hold on to your glittery disco balls, The Internets is (kinda) back

Remember when mp3 players first came out? When horrible disco music ruled the airwaves, Ozzy was just about to leave Sabbath, Bon Scott still had a year to live, and big lapels, polyester and platforms were all it took to get a guy elected Mayor of Studville? “Nay!” you might cry out, “But that’s 1979 you’re talking about, silly goose!” And you would be correct, except your “Nay” should’ve been a resounding “Yay!” That’s because in 1979, Kane Kramer and James Campbell came out with a digital music player that fit in the palm of your hand (I’m assuming your hands are huuuuuge). This ingeniously forward-thinking contraption had a display screen and was operated by fancy buttons. What’s that? Much like an iPod, you say? Correct again, big-handed reader. How come you’ve never heard of a portable music player before the Walkman, then? That’s because this clever device was actually pretty dumb. The thing only had the memory to store 3 ½ minutes of music. Also, with phone modems being what they were in 1979, by the time you might’ve finished downloading “Dancing Queen”, your sweet disco moves would no longer be welcome on the dance floor.