ADIK

This online gaming addiction is perhaps the most brain-sucking forms of neuroses out there. I thought I had forever freed myself from the hypnotic clutches of these gaming demons. Until I sat down and actually started playing this game called Starcraft 2. In between the nights where I end up sleeping at four AM and the readings that I have missed, I seem to have no regret about this addiction. When I lie in bed and think of thoughts to lull me to sleep, I think about strategies to fry my opponents with.

I constantly grapple with the thought that this gaming habit is a shameful kind of weakness. In the gaming world you get to become "THE SHIT" by completing the game or smashing your opponents to oblivion. But a game is just a game. The temptation to keep going back to the virtual world is always strong because of the constant flux of absurdities life brings. This addiction is a safety zone where the mind can slip into and feel the calmness of a seemingly controlled environment, whose rules are dictated by programming code.

The other side of me seems to have no regrets about this whole gaming thing. The important thing is to control the hours getting spent, because the temptation is to spend so much time that there's a virtual life that's getting lived. Gaming seems to help my brain become more adaptive and intuitive with patterns of play, like rules and certain nuances in interactions. It helps the mind become malleable, more susceptible to imaginative thought. My gaming mindset has allowed to treat life as a game, where you constantly strive to get to the next level and maybe actually probably become "THE SHIT."

So I have to keep on hustling on this studying law thing, or its GAME OVER for me.