Tired of giving your special someone the same old bouquet of Holland Tulips, imported diet-breaking chocolates, hand-made "Be Mine" cards that even you think a blindfolded first grader could've done a better job, cheapo heart-shaped metallic balloons, or cheesy customized his&her jewelry year after year come the Valentines season? Well look no further than Custom Creature Taxidermy Arts.
Photo from geekologie. See accompanying write-up.
Don't be too put off by the blurb, though: "Catering to the Connoisseurs of the Curious Since 1997". Joining the ranks of these so-called connoisseurs are trendy art galleries, filthy rich private collectors (for the more intricate pieces like the apparently-NOT-mythical griffin shown above), and prestigious museums such as the Océanopolis Cultural Centre in Brittany France and the Geneva Museum of Natural History in Switzerland. While I'm still not sure if I'm entirely comfortable with the "custom creature" part, "connoisseur" seems to trip off the tongue quite nicely. One thing's for sure -- if you get your beloved a Valentines gift from this online gallery-and-store, he/she will probably never forget you. Like, not everrr. And that's always a good thing, right? Being forgotten on the official day of hearts bites.
Of course there might be some concern where highly-acclaimed (and perhaps slightly feared) artist-naturalist Sarina Brewer sources her taxidermal animal-subjects. Brewer claims she "recycles the natural into the unnatural, breathing new life into the animals she resurrects" by creating "fanciful composite beasts". Her About the Artist page reveals more on how she applies a very "green" and admirably sustainable work ethic:
None of the animals used in Brewer’s work were killed for the purpose of using them in her art. All animal components are recycled. She utilizes salvaged roadkill and discarded livestock, as well as the many animal materials that are donated to her. Donated animals are often casualties of the pet trade, destroyed nuisance animals, or animals that died of natural causes. A very strict "waste not, want not" policy is adhered to in her studio - virtually every part of the animal is recycled in some manner.
Socially responsible gifts -- so what's not to like? (Personally, I draw the line at the mummified hand of glory.) So to help you combat Valentines stress, I personally selected some of her most unique pieces for your reading-and-hopefully-buying pleasure. You can say, thank you! (Or not.)
FOR THE CHEAPSKATE: Just because you're forced to spend doesn't mean you have to settle for boring and poorly thought-out crap. (Admittedly the selection still isn't that cheap.)
FOR THE BIG SPENDER: Because you know that there is no better way to show undying love than by throwing away hard-earned cash!
FOR THE JEWELRY GIVER: Because deep down you know that he/she will never voluntarily wear that laser-cut metallic pendant that has your best couple studio pic embossed on it.
FOR CARD GIVER: This still beats guy+girl stick figures holding hands.
Still under construction, but it might be up before V-day. Constantly check here.
HEART-THEMED: Take concept of Happy Hearts Day to new, aggressively weird and literal heights!
And stuffed toys? Pfft! Who needs stuffed toys when you can give the real thing? Here's to Valentines, everyone!
...
Post dedicated to Arveen Agunday. <3
No comments:
Post a Comment