Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Multiple Personalities

I don’t think I sound like myself on the net. I mean, the statements I make online don’t sound exactly like how I would’ve said them face-to-face. I guess I look at the internet as a completely different means of communication and, thus, I communicate differently. As most of the communication through the net (so far) is in written mode, you’re given an opportunity to think. So I take that opportunity and give more thought to what I say. Plus, there’s always that nagging notion at the back of my head that, with the internet, what I’m saying has been immortalized and published, somewhat. So I make the effort to make myself sound as smart and interesting as I can when I have to say something online or not say anything at all when I can’t think of a better way to put it. This makes my internet persona way cooler and wittier than I am in real life but, also, a lot more snobbish and less interactive [this statement totally makes the real me sound like a loser but I’m really not (well, that just made me sound even more desperate but the point is that my internet self is awesome!)]. This is the reason why I don’t tweet or post so much on FB or why I never really blogged before (it takes me too much time to complete an entry). But, when I do, it’s often smarter or funnier than what my normal self would say (or, at least, I think its smart or funny; I can only hope others agree). I guess this is my distorted application of that think-twice-before-you-act and the don’t-say-anything-if-you-have-nothing-good-to-say adages.

The point of that drawn out discussion is that people may have different identities on the web. My identity was subconsciously formed out of a reaction to pre-conceived notions about the internet. Some people may have shared my experience. Others, still, may have consciously put effort into acquiring a different identity. That may sound pathetic but I refrain from judgment because these people may have found that the internet is the only anonymous and safe haven, which is detached from personal judgment.

But I find that there are people who sound exactly as they are in real life and these are the people I truly admire. I’m not being sarcastic here and saying that I admire the absence of additional thought into their internet communication. I truly admire them for being brave enough to be themselves even when the opportunity for change has been presented (which I subconsciously was not able to resist).

If only I could think faster or restrain myself better, I would be much like my internet self. Or if only I were brave enough to just be myself online, my internet self would be much like face-to-face me. But, for now, I’ll have to settle for having multiple personalities. And I find that this isn’t really a bad thing ‘cause these personalities are still both me, with the same basic ideas…I’m just communicating differently.

Aldous Benjamin Camiso, Blog Entry #3.

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